Buzz Cut

Last week I was upset about losing my hair. It was really tough when it first started coming out. By the end of the week, I was so grossed out by all of the shedding that I decided it was time. Saturday afternoon with friends and chocolate martinis, I got my first & hopefully only buzz cut. My friend, Johnene was the lucky one who got to cut & shave all my hair off. I think she was more nervous about it than I was. It actually looks ok, feels a little strange though. The only problem is all of the gray hair!!!! If it wasn't going to fall out, I'd have to get it colored! Of course with Alyssa rubbing my head all the time, I'm sure I'll be bald by the end of the week!

Thanks to Terry and my friends for a great weekend. This was just one more reminder of what great friends we have!

I learned two things this weekend. My head will look ok bald and I totally suck at guitar hero!

Update

I'm not sure why I thought my oncologist would be wrong but let's say I hoped he would be. He has told me all along that the effects of chemo are cummulative. I was hoping that maybe I would be the exception to that. I still don't have any nausea which is great. I actually took less meds this time. The anti-nausea meds can make you sleepy. The fatigue is much worse this time. I'm not as sleepy, but I just don't have any energy. It's getting better but I definitely feel like a couch potato!
The acupuncture seems to be helping with some of the aches & pains. After three treatments this week, I feel like a pin cushion!
I have been on a roller coaster of emotions this week. Most of the time I can be pretty positive about all of this. On Tuesday, my hair started falling out! I guess I wasn't ready for that. I'm shedding worse than the dogs! I have been trying to decide when to shave my head. I'm having trouble committing to a date but there will be chocolate martinis involved!

Round 1 of Chemo is done

So now I've finished round 1 of chemo. Each round or cycle is 2 chemo days. Friday I went with 2 of my girlfriends and for lack of a better word it was actually fun. I'm sure the ativan helped a little as well. We got to make fun of silly wigs. I don't want a wig but I think shopping for one with friends would be a riot! No, we were not making fun of people wearing wigs, just the ones in catalogs!

But seriously, I can't thank Johnene and Kristin enough for giving up an entire day to spend with me a chemo. It means more than I can express. I'm thankful for all of the great friends we have.

So far I feel pretty good, just tired. My 1st acupuncture treatment was helpful, although I felt good that day. The next 2 will be a real test of how it will help. My acupuncturist seems very hopeful that he can relieve most of my side effects. I just have to learn to relax a little more. I found it difficult to lay there for 30 minutes with needles in me. I wasn't sure what I could move or not move. It should be easier next time since I probably won't feel so good at the start of it.

I'm working on the coffee part. I think one cup a day is reasonable. It certainly wasn't coffee that gave me Hodgkins. I'm tired of having all this stuff taken away from me. Thanks for all the great tea ideas. I've tried some and they're not too bad. Thanks to Terri who brought me over a whole basket of tea! I'm willing to try just about anything but I can't completely give up all my bad habits either!

I talked to my oncologist, Dr. Aboulafia, on Friday. He presented my case to the Tumor Board and we have a new plan. I'm going to have 3 cycles(6 chemo days) and then another CT/PET scan. At that point we'll get together with the radiation oncologist and decide what's next. It will depend on the scan results but most likely I'll need more chemo or radiaiton, even if it is clear. He has said all along that the best thing would be to do both. It would be nice to be done with the chemo at the point. Although radiation comes with lots of long term side effects that seem very scary right now. Right now, I'm happy to be done with the first cycle. Every little step counts.

I love having my haircut short. Makes me wonder why I didn't do it sooner. It's so easy. I hope I have some time to enjoy it. They say it could start falling out soon but nobody knows for sure.

It was great to go into work the other day, seeing all my coworkers that I missed. Using my brain for something besides cancer research. Next time I'll come in later to catch the night shift crew. I hope to be able to go to a staff meeting or 2 and maybe IQ Day. This past week it was really hard not being at work because I felt pretty good. It's the only really big thing that has been taken away so far. It's amazing what a big chunk of my life is temporaily gone. I love being able to spend so much time with my family but I miss my work family.

Thanks for all the meals and help. Alyssa is loving all the playdates! Thanks to our secret pizza delivery person. That was a very nice surpise.

Time to give the dogs some attention. They are on my crazy schedule too.

Tracie

What, no coffee?

Yesterday was a very interesting day for me. It started early, as they all seem to now. I had my first visit to the acupuncturist! I had decided over the weekend that maybe it would be a good idea to help relieve some of the chemo side effects. After filling out a VERY long questionaire that made me feel like I was pretty unhealthy, even without cancer, I went in for my evaluation. No needles yet! This part was fine until we got to the part about how much coffee I drink. I think she was shocked and I had lied just a little. Up to this point I thought most of her suggestions sounded pretty good. She asked if I could give up the coffee. I'm sure you can all imagine what went through my head!!!

So here I sit updating my blog, at 5:30am, drinking tea! I decided yesterday that it probably was a good I idea. Cleaned out my coffee pot and put it away! I'm not going cold turkey! I think a single cup from my french press will be ok for a few days. I found some good tea. I'm open to suggestions. The nice part is that I don't have to give up the caffeine.

Despite all of this, I'm really excited to try acupuncture.

The best part of my day was getting my hair cut. I was excited and a little bit nervous. I've never had really short hair. Fortunately I had two great friends along for support, pictures and wine later! Thanks Johnene & Kristin! I was in good hands. Susie is awesome! It's weird not having any hair but I love it. She did a great job.

Today, I'm looking forward to going to work. I miss my coworkers and work so much. I'm actually excited about going to a training class! It's been tough dealing with not going to work, especially when I feel good. Thanks for all of your comments and emails.

I feel good!

Just a quick update...

I seem to be past the worst of the chemo side effects. I actually feel pretty good. The fatigue is getting much better, even stayed up until 10pm last night. Of course, I was up shopping online at 5:30am but oh well. At least one of us is working!

Update

I guess I'll start with the positive, there seems to be no problem with nausea. The meds are awesome and as long as I stay away from Swatdy's(thanks Jennifer for that advice) I think it will be ok. I feel great in the mornings, big shock for a night person!
The fatigue is the biggest challenge so far. I haven't made awake past 8:30 yet. It's tough when you can't outlast the kids! I'm trying to remember to pace myself and not do too much when I feel good. It's a weird feeling to be so tired all the time. I guess I'll have to get used to it. They say exercise helps. I'm heading to the gym today after the kids go to school. Maybe a little walk on the treadmill will help.
This week will be a bit challenging as Terry just left for Boston. I think it was pretty tough for him to go. This is the trip that got cancelled minutes before I was diagnosed. Nicholas says he's up for the challenge of taking care of the dogs. He wanted to get up at 6am to take care of them this morning! Hopefully I talked him out of that! He may be excited to learn he'll get to stay up later to let them out at night, anything for more TV at this point! Terry may be a little surprised when he comes back to the whole house being on my schedule!
So far we've been blessed with really great family & friends. I can't thank you enough. The food, help and well wishes have been amazing! Love the lucy clothes-thanks to Johnene & Kristin!
For my BFF's at work, I'm going down to have some coffee now. It's not quite the same as going down to Tully's but it'll have to do! Enjoy!

Day 1 of chemo is done...

Me & the kids before leaving for chemo!

As most of you know, yesterday was my first day of chemo. First, I was scheduled to get a PICC line. For those of you who don't know, that is an IV that's inserted into my arm and then they thread the catheter up thru a big vein to get closer to the heart. Chemo is pretty toxic to your veins, so you want a good line. The procedure is supposed to take about 40 minutes, well 2 plus hours later, I had my PICC. Many attempts and finally changing arms all together were required. Apparently my veins decided they didn't want this foreign object in them & just clamped down everytime they tried. Fortunately, I had a persisstant RN & he finally got it. I spent all that time laying on an xray table wondering if it was going to work! I was already an hour late for my Dr and chemo appointments.

They were very excited to see me when we finally arrived for chemo. I had been pretty stressed about getting started, but by that point, I was so relieved at getting a line, the stress was gone. The beginning is quite an over-load of information, I thought I was pretty organized & then they dump all kinds of other stuff in your lap.

The biggest thing we learned is that they rate my chemo regime a 4 out 4 on the nausea scale. I'm thinking that's not good. They do however load you up with some pretty strong anti-nausea meds. So far so good! Actually getting the chemo is pretty uneventful. The first day is time consuming, as we had to wait for drugs and I had to have one test dose and then wait an hour to get started after that.

I felt pretty good when we left. I had a bag full of drugs and papers and a mile long list of appointments for the next month. Apparently there are lots of thing to do in between my chemo days! Fortunately some of them can be done over here at the Virginia Mason clinic.

We had a quick dinner with friends when we picked up our kids. It was a great dinner. Thanks Jags! Also a big thanks to Loverichs for taking care of the dogs!

I thought I'd spend some time with the kids when we got home, but I could hardly keep my eyes open! I went to bed at 7:30 and got up at 6:30am. Guess some of the anti- nausea meds really do cause drowsiness. So far this morning I feel great. I realize that may change, but I plan on getting some things done while I can.

Thanks for all of your comments, emails and phone calls. It is a huge help!!!! It means a lot to talk to all of you. It may take me a while to respond to emails, but I will. Thanks for the encouragement. I know lots of you want to help as well and belive me it will be needed.